i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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