It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
