Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
