Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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