Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
