Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
