Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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