You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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