fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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