She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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