Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
