I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
