Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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