So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
