talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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