What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
