Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
being pregnant is like rehab
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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