he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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