Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
