so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
