I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
