i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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