His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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