butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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