the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
