they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
