you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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