he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
