i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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