You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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