We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
