Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
