after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
