Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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