Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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