Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Me too!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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