i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
