I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Less talking, more tequila
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You were trust falling into bushes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize