It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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