anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
