it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
