Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize