To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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