But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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