My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
