I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize