On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
