all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
