I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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