maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
