Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
