Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
