Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
