THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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