Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
