yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
