dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
