don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm at about main and main street
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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