I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
