C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
